I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
