I accidentally burped into my bong.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize