I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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