similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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