Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
