how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I woke up under a house in Key West
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
