Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
