This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
