she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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