my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
