you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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