Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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