I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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