Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
