i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
