And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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