They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Pants are for mortals
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
