She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
