I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
How does it feel to date your dad?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
