oh god the rape fog is back!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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