Just cropdusted the office
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
