hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
When are your genitals available?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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