2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
