They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
