I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
