Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
