We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
