Porn is love you can see.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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