Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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