btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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