what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
