Are we in a gay sports bar?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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