she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
