PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
