so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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