Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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