jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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