There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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