You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Do vagina's smell?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
