I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
