youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
