We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
