You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
