She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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