btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
