I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
