No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
