After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize