would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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