what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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