I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
