and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
