How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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