Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize