Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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