He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
