Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
