The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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